Anxiety

If it was possible to pass on just one piece of advice from the wisdom I have gained from parenting, it would be this: Embrace your child’s anxiety.

Many parents don’t do this because they hold two mistaken beliefs. First, they believe that it is their responsibility to make their child happy; and second, they believe that feelings of anxiety in their child means that they have failed somehow.

Ask Jennifer Kolari

Hi Jennifer, I’m struggling to deal with a particular behaviour that my five and a half year old, Chandra, has been displaying. For the last three months or so, when she gets upset about something, she says she doesn’t like herself and starts to smack her head. This is very upsetting to me and even [...]

All of us have anxiety – it is an important emotion.

We need it to survive, stay safe and make good choices. Some of us are hardwired to be more anxious than others. As a therapist, I feel that more and more children are struggling with anxiety for many reasons and many parents struggle with how to help their kids cope.

Hi Jennifer,

I’ve always felt my daughter was maybe gifted somehow. She is 8 years old and extremely hard on herself. I think she is a perfectionist and gets very upset if she doesn’t do something perfect the first time. She then shuts down and won’t redo something. I am hoping this website might help me respond to these outbursts. She also has difficulty handling conflict with her peers. Her father (who doesn’t live with her) doesn’t think these are things to worry about but I do.

- Julie

Bullying

Love Our Children USA recently announced that bullying and teasing is at the top of kids’ issues at schools, and with school now open, parents, teachers and school administrators must take caution and sensitivity in handling these issues. Childhood should be a time filled with wonder and joy, but the reality for many kids and teens is often much different.

We usually think of bullying as physical aggression such as punching, hitting, shoving, but it’s way beyond that. If your kid is being bullied or harassed that means his friend or peers are hurting him intentionally. As a result, your son or daughter feels powerless, helpless, humiliated, shamed, and hopeless about the whole situation.

Emotional Intelligence

I was undiagnosed, but in retrospect clearly diagnosable, with depression from age 12. For much of my youth I “other-reflected” rather than self-reflected. I made the worst attitudes of others my own. I would say that I hated the way others viewed my depression but I really just hated myself.

My daughter Gabi has been at school for 5 months now. I finally got around to asking her homeroom teacher whether I could share on mychildfeels.com her wonderful introductory letter she gave students on the first day of class. This is truly a letter worth sharing.

We’ve all been there and often don’t know how we arrived. But one thing is certain, no parent enjoys being in a power struggle with their child. What brings us to this point?

Parenting is not a one way street. Two separate personalities interact to hopefully produce a loving parent-child relationship. Becoming a good parent is as much about us as it is about our kids.

Understanding respect and boundaries is crucial to parenting. What does this mean? When I was growing up, respect meant one thing only – how we spoke to and behaved towards our elders. Today, I have a very different understanding of these words.

How This Grandparent Feels

This grandparent feels that one cannot and should not force their grandchild to eat, BUT encouraging them can be fun. In a previous article, “Disciplining Your Grandchildren Can Be ‘Tricky’“, I shared some tricks I had up my sleeve regarding that topic.  Now, I have some tried and true ‘recipes’ that I have used to [...]

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you my Mom, Ruth. She is a real character who believes in being thankful for each and every day while embracing risk taking and experiencing life to its fullest. Since she lives in Chicago, the phone is our most often means of communication.

When I receive a phone call from her that begins with, “Guess what?” I immediately freeze.

I quickly sit down, grab a coffee, diet coke and at the same time, a piece of chocolate.

How in the world does a grandparent discipline their young, adorable and brilliant grandchildren? This grandparent feels it is important to have a trick up your sleeve. In this blog, I will share one of my favorites.

One morning, I was sitting enjoying my cup of coffee when the phone rang.

“Hi Rickie, it’s Marsha Jacobson. I was wondering if you would join mychildfeels.com as a contributor. We are looking for a perspective from a grandparent and I know you would be great. I still remember advice you gave me years ago.”

In The Classroom

Children from different home languages are the fastest growing segment of the preschool population right now across the United States. Chances are most English-speaking children will meet children who speak other languages in their neighborhoods, schools and childcare. We can all benefit from fostering attitudes of tolerance and friendship.

As the summer draws to a close, school feels like a distant memory to many children. Many focus on the unknown like their teachers, new children and curriculum. This can result in feelings of panic, anxiety and overwhelm. True, there are many new things that they must face but for most there is also much [...]

Perspectives

Several years ago, I got into a car accident and totalled my car (ok, my mother’s car).  Thankfully, no one was hurt and the only injury I sustained was to my bank account, which was hit with a hefty fine for “following too close”.  The other driver was forgiving, my parents showed concern only for [...]

The experience of ourselves, others and the world is not bestowed upon us, but created by us. The objectivity of events is an illusion, an organizing force born out of our creative minds but attributed to our rational brains. We know what we think and therefore think that we know. Personal perception, however, is anything [...]

Reviews

My oldest son is recovering from back surgery. My daughter is anxious about not meeting up with us in heaven after we die. My youngest son is awaiting anxiously to hear about his medical school applications and my middle son is stressing about the amount of school work on his plate. I admit that enmeshing [...]

There are so many wonderful things about Jennifer Kolari’s book “Connected Parenting” that I hardly know where to begin.

Kolari understands that even when parents feel despair, overwhelmed, angry or feel guilty because they no longer like their child, that these feelings are just a mask for fear and confusion. Kolari never blames parents who have lost their way and find themselves in a vortex of negativity.