I felt a sadness and a quiet desperation when I read an article in parentcentral.ca by Joseph Hall called “Children Feel Weight of Body Image.” He discusses the tragic obsession about body image and weight in our youth. Nothing new except that the study under discussion looked at about 4,200 children from Nova Scotia and found that children as young as 10 were concerned with their weight and how they looked.

With my own children not fitting the “super-model” mold, I am all too aware of the pressures that kids have to face. Unfortunately, while we can do our best to speak out against the media and the role that they play in the way that many of our children see themselves, we are still faced with our child’s perception of their reality.

Shouting out against the media doesn’t help our little one’s feelings when they are called “fat” by their peers. But creating an emotionally resilient child may. As parents, we are often helpless to control our child’s world and our strength lies in the influence we have on our child’s perceptions of his world.

Do you think you’re fat?

If the answer to this is “yes” then the chances are that you are part of your child’s problem with their body image. Being honest with yourself about your own body image can be the first step you take towards change. To our child, our non-verbal language is as loud, if not louder, than our verbal. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Your child can tell the difference. Sometimes honesty means admitting that you have a problem too, and that’s ok.

Teach your child to know and understand their feelings. High emotional intelligence is strongly correlated with high self-esteem. Children, even those who do not fit the “model” image, are less likely to develop disordered eating problems than those with low self esteem.

When your child says, “I’m fat,” don’t tell them they’re not. Allow them to process they way that they feel. Feeling heard is often the greatest bolster to their resilience.

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Marsha Jacobson is author of "Boom... Boom... Boom...: A Story to Raise Your Child's Emotional Intelligence". She is a regular contributor of mychildfeels.com and you can visit her website at marshajacobson.com.