Here are just a few delicious ‘recipes’ that I hope you will enjoy.  Feel free to adapt them to suit your grandchildren’s tastes.

A few months ago, I picked up my 3 and 5 year old grandsons from school. I brought them home and started to prepare lunch.  My daughter had informed me that the 3 year old was fussy with food lately so I was ready.

The 3 year old announced that he was not hungry. With a matter of fact tone, I replied, “Don’t’ eat.  Please don’t eat.  I don’t want you getting strong and certainly don’t want you getting bigger.  I don’t want you getting big like your Daddy and strong like your uncle.”

There was some interest.  So I then focused on the 5 year old.  I asked my big boy if I could feel his muscles while he was eating.

I then reported, “Your muscle on this side of your arm is definitely getting bigger.  I can feel it. Can I feel your other arm when you eat some more?  But, are you sure you want to get big?  I don’t want you getting bigger. Then you are going to run really fast and for sure I won’t be able to catch you.“ (Insert any activity that is enjoyed by the child)

“Grandma,” said the 3 year old, “I want to get big, and I want to eat my lunch.”

“Are you sure?”  I responded with concern.

“Grandma, will you feel my muscles?”  Asked the little one, fearing he could miss a muscle evaluating experience.

“I promise I will if you eat your lunch,”  I replied.

When the children were a little younger, my meal preparations would consist of these conversations.

“What would you like for lunch today?”  “I was thinking of making something very special.  How about bugs and flies on toast?”  I asked.

“Grandma, that is silly.”  They replied.

“Okay, how about peanut butter and dirt?”  I asked.

As most chefs do, I also invented clever titles for my recipes.  Here are just a few:

‘Spiderman Grilled Cheese’

‘Batman Spaghetti”

‘Superman Scrambled Eggs’

My grandchildren loved their food labeled in this way and I believe enjoyed their meals more because of it.

They also delighted in becoming involved in meal preparation. Below are just a few simple stress-free suggestions.

“Is there any one here who can scramble the Batman eggs?”

“I need someone, who is big; to help me set the table.”

“I was wondering if someone could stir the macaroni and cheese with my special big spoon.”

This grand parent feels it is more about creating smile memories then full tummies.  Perhaps, both can be accomplished. What do you think?

I welcome your ideas since we can not have too many good “recipes” or smiles.

This grandparent feels that what one can learn from a great grandparent is priceless.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you my Mom, Ruth.  She is a real character who believes in being thankful for each and every day while embracing risk taking and experiencing life to its fullest. Since she lives in Chicago, the phone is our most often means of communication.

When I receive a phone call from her that begins with, “Guess what?” I immediately freeze.

I quickly sit down, grab a coffee, diet coke and at the same time, a piece of chocolate.  Regarding her “Guess what’s?” she is always interested in my concerns and will complement me on my wise opinions and then will proceed to do exactly as she pleases.

Over the years, these are some of the “Guess what’s?” I’ve heard my mom say:

• When she was 70 years old, “I am going to become a model.  Soon, I will be going for my head shots.  I called an agency and they think I can be in the Cubs calendar.  They also feel I can be in magazines.”
• At 73 years old, “I was passing the corner restaurant this morning on my walk and I noticed a sign on the window. They will be filming a commercial later in the day and everyone is welcome to participate.  So, I spruced myself up and returned and I just know I will be in the commercial.  I had to eat their new fried chicken wings and then they filmed my reaction.  I told them, quite excitedly, they were to die for!  I then came home, and threw up.  I thought I was going to die!”
• At 75, “I just signed up for tap – dancing, my first recital is in the spring.  Will you come?”
• At 79, “I just got off the phone with a lady in Sarasota and we are like sisters.  I phoned her because she had an ad in the Chicago Tribune and is looking for a room mate for January and February. I know I have never been to Sarasota, but it has to be better then the cold.  I need to take a risk and I think this will be a great adventure.”
• At 80, “I met a man.  His name is Sandor, he sings in the choir, and he drove me home from services last night.   I ran out of the car, because I was not sure I wanted him to know exactly where I live. He is 88, and a real ladies man. I am so excited because he is also a straight man. Rickie, a straight man does not need a cane.”

I will close with a recent conversation I had with my Mom about her latest doctor appointment.

Mom’s doctor is a specialist in gerontology and an absolute angel.  Her doctor never fails to return her phone calls with kindness and the utmost concern wherever her travels take her.

My Mom has decided that a visit to her doctor is not really necessary since he is so busy with sick people and she is healthy.  So, needless to say to get her to make a doctor’s appointment can be challenging.

A few weeks ago, after her doctor’s appointment, she phoned to report that she chatted with her doctor for an hour. He thinks she is doing great and she should do whatever she pleases.  According to my Mom, he is most interested in her latest home remedy… pure cherry juice. Her doctor is going to check into it and then recommend it to his patients.

They both decided that Mom is growing up!

So, I have decided to grow up (a little everyday) rather than grow old.  What do you think?

P.S.  I just got off the phone with my Mom and she was so excited because she was finally able to access a computer and read my articles on mychildfeels.com. She said, “Rickie, I read your blobs and I think you are great!”

This trick began with a shopping expedition I had at Target.  They had the best selection of superhero hats and gloves that I had ever seen.  So, I went crazy and purchased too many and could not wait to give them to my two superhero grandchildren.

My boys were so excited when they saw their favorite superheroes in every conceivable hat, glove and color combination.  I knew I was the best Grandma ever… until the next day. My daughter called to inform me that her morning had been awful.  My beautiful boys had fought over their plethora of superhero accessories and it was ugly.

I was picking up the boys from preschool that day and I had to think fast.  So, I invented “Josh’s Grandmother”.  Coincidently, “Josh” also has a brother. He and his brother also happen to be very close in age to my boys. Once I buckled up the boys and I was on my way, I began my story.

“Do you remember Josh’s Grandmother? Josh is going to be 5 and he has a brother who is going to be 3.  I think they have knapsacks just like yours.”

My boys both told me that they were the same age. “Really?” I said.

“Well, you won’t believe what happened to them.  They were fighting over their superhero hats and gloves.  Josh’s Grandmother was so upset.  Do you know what she did?  She gave all their superhero hats and gloves to the poor children.  Unfortunately, now the boys just have brown hats and gloves with nothing on them.”

My older grandson looked shocked.  He confessed, “Grandma, we were fighting over our superhero hats and gloves this morning.”

“That is terrible,” I replied.

“Grandma, would you give our hats and gloves to the poor children?” said my younger grandson.

“Do you think I should?  I feel so bad when you fight,” I said sadly.

“We promise we will not fight. We will share!”  They both seemed to say that simultaneously.

“Well, that sounds great! But if you forget…”  I was interrupted by their words, “Grandma, we won’t forget!”

Josh’s Grandmother saved the day!

In another incidence, my older grandson finally graduated to a booster seat and was now able to retire his old car seat. In his eyes he was “big” and he had the 4o pounds to prove it.  I found the perfect blue sports theme booster seat for my car.  He loved it and once again I knew I was the best grandma in the entire world.

All was well until I put him in the car seat and he began squirming all over the place.

I knew he was experiencing his new found freedom but I have places to go and people to see.  He is not safe and I cannot drive while he is dancing in his booster seat.

So as not to pollute the moment, I said in my best Grandmother voice, “Sweetheart, please sit nicely.  I am afraid you will get hurt.”

My darling chose to ignore my words and the dancing continued. I then switched gears and reported that I had just gotten off the phone with Josh’s Grandmother and that she has a big problem.

I said, “Josh’s Grandmother has searched every store in Toronto for a booster seat for her grandson and she can only find the pink princess booster seats. Josh’s Grandmother knows that sometimes when boys sit in a new blue sports booster seat they can be silly and then they have to return to their old car seat.  So, she was wondering if I knew any boys that were unable to sit nicely in their new booster seats.  Josh’s Grandmother told me that I should mention her problem to all the Grandmothers.   Perhaps, one of the Grandmothers has a new blue sports booster seat that they are not using.”

Suddenly, the dancing stopped.  Ten minutes later… I complimented my darling on how nicely he was sitting in his new blue sports booster seat.

This Grandparent Feels that by sharing our “tricks” we can make the grandparenting ride a pleasant journey. What kinds of tricks have you used to help discipline your grandchildren?

“Hi Rickie, it’s Marsha Jacobson. I was wondering if you would join mychildfeels.com as a contributor. We are looking for a perspective from a grandparent and I know you would be great.    I still remember advice you gave me years ago.”

“Yes,” I replied. “I would love to share my thoughts, but what is blogging? And why can’t we just sit and have a cup of coffee and chat?”

After Marsha explained it all to me, I now understand what blogging is and feel excited at the prospect of sharing my ideas.  They have been seasoned along the way by a 38 year old marriage to my childhood sweetheart, being a mother of my two (now) adult children and their mates and a grandmother to my boys.

My job as a preschool principal for 25 years has fine tuned my perspective and allowed me to see the world through thousands of eyes.  My parents, siblings and their family’s life experiences have provided me with the platform to work towards my doctorate in life.

So, get a large lasagna dish, fill it with eggs and then gently, very gently walk on the eggs… but don’t break them.  Welcome to the world of grand parenting.

I love being a grandmother. But, in order to ride this trolley, there are rules that must be followed. Three great rules I try to work by are: Stop, Look and Listen.

Stop: Give no advice.
Look: Observe your grandkids being parented by their parents.
Listen: Support the parents. As grandparents, we are cheerleaders not consultants.

As a grandparent, my goal is to sit on the sidelines and enjoy a new team playing a familiar game with updated equipment and new and improved rules.  This team has to find their own way and develop strategies that will result in winning outcomes. Insisting on my game plan could sabotage their future successes and interferes with the team building process, necessary for any championship team.

We know it “takes a village to raise a child,” but it takes the wisdom of the world to be a grandparent.

I look forward to reading your ideas, comments or questions.