http://www.mychildfeels.com/2010/10/this-emotional-life-on-pbs/ http://www.mychildfeels.com/2010/10/this-emotional-life-on-pbs/#comments Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:19:08 +0000 marshajacobson http://www.mychildfeels.com/?p=651 Where have I been? I was really upset to read an article by Kristi Helm in the Seattle Times entitled, “Paul Allen – Conceived PBS Series Looks at Human Emotions“. Too late!

I appear to have missed it. It is a three part series talking about the secret to happiness. The series examines the science of emotions including therapies based on this science. It then looks at personal stories and how they relate to our scientific knowledge. Not least, the series will help to further de-stigmatize depression, anxiety and other forms of human suffering.

Something this important is bound to repeat and I am vigilantly scanning the TV guide daily!

Did anyone manage to watch it?  What did you think?

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Marsha Jacobson is author of "Boom... Boom... Boom...: A Story to Raise Your Child's Emotional Intelligence". She is a regular contributor of mychildfeels.com and you can visit her website at marshajacobson.com.]]> http://www.mychildfeels.com/2010/10/this-emotional-life-on-pbs/feed/ 0

An article on earlychildhood.suite101.com entitled, “Dealing With Separation Anxiety in Young Children at Summer Camp” by Susan Caplan, elaborates. It’s worth a quick read.

Look for other articles on this topic. It is a very common anxiety for lots of kids and worth investigating.

Giving readers food for thought, Carpenter talks about parents over-reliance on parent advice. She cleverly points out how advice and parenting gurus change from generation to generation, leading us to wonder at the validity of any of it.

While I could be buying into yet another trend, I do feel that raising your children to be emotionally intelligent by using principles of emotional coaching, empathy and mirroring really makes sense. This approach individualizes parenting and puts the power back where it belongs – the parent-child relationship.

In my opinion, no one parenting book or one parenting guru can be useful unless it recognizes this individualistic approach. When we, as parents, feel in charge of our parenting it does much to reduce the anxiety of feeling like we are always falling short. Reading many conflicting books on parenting will raise this anxiety, sometimes to a feverish pitch.

I’m not suggesting that we should feel like we are always right! Parenting is a dynamic relationship in which we learn. We have to make mistakes because we are human. Let’s learn from these.

We all know how uncomfortable tantrums in a grocery line-up can feel! Read “”Whale Done Parenting”: What Parents Can Learn from Sea World Trainers” by Liz Hoffman of  chicagoparent.com and learn what we can learn from sea mammals!

In days gone by your name was simply your name, the word by which to get your attention. Today names have taken on more meaning. Parents experience a lot of anxiety looking for the right name. Trendy but not too out there. Strong. Names have to say, “I am unique!”

Does this reflect our general feelings of being lost and overlooked in this world of ours? If so, then shouldn’t we acknowledge that and pay much more attention to bringing up our children with high self-esteem. Let’s aim at raising our kids to define their name and not the other way around.

In this wonderful blog post entitled “Permission to Feel,” Coach Nancy points out that parents sometimes curb positive emotions like excitement as well as the more painful ones. All humans have feelings, she says, and by not allowing them to be felt we become unable to process them in healthy ways.

Children who are comfortable with all their feelings understand themselves better and have higher emotional intelligence. Knowing where they come from gives children direction and the ability to plot a path towards where they want to be.

Coach Nancy discusses some of the factors that hinder a parent’s ability to focus on their child’s emotional development and suggests some areas for change.

A great article. Well worth reading!

In “What Ellen DeGeneres Knows for Sure (She Thinks)” Oprah in O Magazine gives us a glimpse of the person behind the comedian. She makes us laugh for sure but her last comment left me saying,  “Wow, that’s exactly right.”

Ellen says, “It’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that’s what I know for sure…I think.”

Dalton says that adults refer to the “pursuit of happiness” or “I’ll be happy when…” Happiness for most is conditional and placed in the future. He says that we even refer to ourselves as the human race implying that we are chasing something.

On the other hand, declares Dalton, “But look at a child. Children are much smarter than adults when it comes to being happy. For them it is just a state of being. They don’t place conditions on when they will and when they won’t feel it. As long as they’re not hungry, in pain, or being told off, they are happy. It’s their default program.”

This article really made me think, not so much about my level of happiness, but about the interaction between an adult and child. When, how and why do we change our expectations? Why does the experience of happiness change from a natural experience of entitlement to something that has to be earned?

What I like about it was the realism and the understanding of us – the helicopter parents. We have to change but we have to understand first what we must change. The article helps with this understanding.

This article, short and sweet, says it all. I wanted to reinforce the message.