mychildfeels.com » Daniel Goleman

Does High Emotional Intelligence Predict Success?

marshajacobson — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:28:07 +0000

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a person’s ability to identify, organize and act on their feelings and the feelings of others in a healthy and productive way. Does increasing an individual’s emotional intelligence correlate to a higher probability of long-term personal success and happiness? There are countless examples from recent times that show the correlation to be true.

Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence” (1995) introduced the idea of emotional intelligence to professionals and laymen. It boldly claimed that in predicting personal success, EQ could be “as powerful, and at times more powerful, than IQ.” (p. 34). Much of this claim was based on previous extensive research on IQ, which found that the predictive nature of IQ on job performance and personal success was seriously falling short.

The correlations were only between 10% and 25%. John Snarey and George Vaillant conducted a longitudinal study in 1985 involving 450 boys and found that IQ had little relation to workplace and personal success. Rather, what was found to be more important in determining their success was their ability to handle frustration, control emotions, and get along with others. While they did not call these traits emotional intelligence, they are some of the central elements to the emotional intelligence construct.

John Gottman, a forerunner in the area of emotional intelligence in children, claimed, “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”

Beyond just academia and formally defining the concept of “emotional intelligence,” the core elements of the construct have emerged in other areas too. A great example of this from popular culture is The Secret, a book and movie by Rhonda Byrne. It believes in the inner emotional power of people. It took the English-speaking world by storm and has already been translated into 10 other languages. More than anything, this demonstrates the world’s readiness to focus on their emotions. The adult population, already saturated by self-help books, was primed and ready to accept these ideas.

It is no surprise now that workforce personnel have enthusiastically supported the investigation and understanding of EQ. Companies are including EQ assessments and training into work regimes. The increasing competitiveness in the workforce has forced those who want to get ahead to actively look for new plausible ideas and run with them. Their approach has been, “This seems to be something that may affect productivity. Lets try it.”

In the area of children and education, scepticism has been more predominant. School boards have focussed on the research showing lack of proof between emotional intelligence and success in later life. Lynn Waterhouse sums up this point of view in her article for Educational Psychologist in 2006. According to her, there exist too many conflicting constructs of EQ to make research possible and the research that has been done is too inconclusive. Many supporters are frustrated at the lack of action taken by schools because they feel that the best time to teach EQ is in childhood.

Perhaps our entire approach to emotional intelligence is wrong. We are trying to place the idea of EQ purely in the scientific world and assessing efficacy and predictability only according to the rules of science. Quantitative research is valuable whenever possible but certainly has limitations when focusing on a construct as qualitative as emotional intelligence. Is there not sufficient evidence that suggests the importance of EQ? Is there not overwhelming evidence that suggests that the lack of EQ creates many of the problems in our lives today? Perhaps we should be focussing on what isn’t working in our human experience rather than resisting the implementation of EQ into our schools.

With the rise in school violence, bullying, terrorism, suicide, job dissatisfaction and loneliness, can we afford to not teach EQ to our children? What can we possibly have to lose by teaching our children to be emotionally intelligent? What’s the worst that can happen? We will produce a generation of people more in touch with their feelings and with the feelings of others? We will produce a generation of people who are taught to be more empathic, tolerant and respectful to themselves and others?

There may be some among us who might like to live in a world like that.

Marsha Jacobson is author of "Boom... Boom... Boom...: A Story to Raise Your Child's Emotional Intelligence". She is a regular contributor of mychildfeels.com and you can visit her website at marshajacobson.com .

Children’s Literature and Emotional Intelligence

marshajacobson — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:36:19 +0000

Although concepts of emotional intelligence are evident in literature as far back as the early 1900’s, Daniel Goleman was the first to popularize this idea in 1995 with his book “Emotional Intelligence“. The belief that improving emotional intelligence can improve overall success in life grabbed the attention of the western world. Today, we find tools for assessing and teaching emotional intelligence flooding work environments, healthcare and even the US army!

While many books have been written about developing emotional intelligence in children, the materials for assessing and teaching emotional intelligence are largely aimed at adults. There is a shortage of hands-on material developed specifically for children, particularly ones that parents might use in the home. This is unfortunate and the time to act is now! The most efficient and potent time to teach emotional intelligence is during childhood. This can be achieved in schools as well as in the most important place of learning, the home.

What are the best tools for teaching emotional intelligence to our children? Obvious important tools are emotionally intelligent parents who make the decision to educate themselves using the literature existing in the marketplace today. There are also, very powerful tools that have been largely ignored as a means of developing emotional intelligence. These are children’s storybooks. With few exceptions, children love to read or be read to and any “teaching” using this medium will always be perceived positively.

Children learn best by example. Whether it’s observing the behaviour of their parents, influential adults or peers, they mimic behaviour. The old adage “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t fly in this enlightened generation. Stories, if used correctly, can teach by example and can be an extremely potent way to direct children’s learning.

Choosing the correct books is of utmost importance. Books of great value to the development of positive emotional intelligence are those that demonstrate empathy, exploration of feelings (both positive and negative) and in particular stories that show by example a child evolving and growing with the help of a parent or significant caregiver. The connection between the child and caregiver is an extremely important one and using this relationship in stories can be a powerful teaching tool. Adults should be depicted as demonstrating appropriate empathy, accepting the child’s feelings without judgement and helping the child identify their different feelings. They may suggest solutions but only after the child feels completely heard and understood. Teaching a child is always more effective if done at this point.

Parents or adult readers should not be afraid to become active participants during story time. It is a perfect time to explore feelings with their child. Use the story as a platform for further exploration. Discussion at the end of the story can be invaluable. Questions like “What’s another word for that feeling?” or “Have you ever felt like that?” or “What would you do if you felt like that?” can accelerate the acquisition of emotional intelligence.

Sharing your own feelings is another way to get the child to open up. Do this with caution; however, making sure that you are not putting words in the child’s mouth. Just by letting them know that these are your feelings and that everyone has different feelings is often enough.

This is not to say that these kinds of books have to be dry and boring. Far from it! Exciting and interesting stories that capture the child’s imagination and attention will deliver their message with much more punch. Teaching children emotional intelligence can and should be a fun and positive experience.

Teach an adult emotional intelligence and change a life, teach our children and change our world.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

marshajacobson — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:30:46 +0000

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, refers to our ability to understand our own emotions and the emotions of others. One can then act on that understanding to shape a positive outcome. This intelligence relating to our emotions produces many characteristics. Empathy, kindness, self-confidence, good listening skills, humour and acceptance of self and others are some of these characteristics, which together form the behaviour of emotional intelligence.

The understanding of emotional intelligence is in its relative infancy. Though it had been alluded to for many years, Daniel Goleman only mainstreamed the concept in 1995 after writing his now famous book called “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ“. Before that we believed that only IQ could predict success. It soon became clear that IQ alone could not adequately address this question. We then began to loosely add other factors to the equation, such as home and social environment, education and even luck. Studying these ‘other’ factors produced the seeds for how we understand emotional intelligence today. This knowledge has opened exciting doors for parents and educators.

Those with high emotional intelligence are generally perceived as charismatic people and as having “personality.” These people tend to be very successful in most areas of their life, including their careers. Examining highly successful people can often give us the best idea of what high emotional intelligence looks like. Often we can easily see why these people are successful.

There is much discussion revolving around whether emotional intelligence is an innate quality or not. While children seem to have a different potential for emotional intelligence, this does not change the importance of enhancing or improving this potential. We know now that no human quality exists in a vacuum and that all traits respond to outside influences. This is what we need to focus on. Emotional intelligence can be taught and the best time to do this than in childhood!

Children have fewer preconceived ideas about emotions and are more open to understanding themselves without judgment. If we have high emotional intelligence, it does not mean that we will behave in one way. What it does mean is that we consciously understand our own emotional makeup and will be more able to interact with our environment in a way that works best for us.

Therefore, interactivity is essential when teaching emotional intelligence to children. We are, after all, teaching them about themselves. As parents and educators, we can help this process in many ways. Our own high emotional intelligence will help us do this. As “first generation” teachers of emotional intelligence, we need to focus on ourselves as well as our children. Children learn best by example and there can be no better teacher to a child than a highly emotionally intelligent adult!

It would benefit us all to make good use of all the tools and materials that are designed to help raise emotional intelligence in both adults and children. It will be an investment well worth making.